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Paramore Lyrics of my life

12:10 PM, Tuesday, January 15, 2008 .. 0 comments .. Link

I love Paramore (her lyrics make me think really hard) I was listening to one of her songs today and it made me think of everything that has and still is going on.

►I Got a lot to say to you. . . ♦ But I can't put it into words. I experienced what happens when you are deeply confused. I don't know how to say this . . seems like lately I'm at a total lost for words. Its like I don't even know how to feel in order to even express how I feel. . .is it possible to change ur feelings, because ur scared of how others will interpret how you feel?

►Yeah, I got a lot to say. . .♦ Really I do. I sit there on my bed (daily) and cry my heart out thinking of what I wanna say and how to say it. But then I contradict myself and go ahead and not write it down or even think of saying what I was going to say! Its so frustrating!

►And it makes no since at all. . .♦ Why can't I just think of what to say, and say it. Why can't I just think of what to do, and actually have the guts to do it!? Its really simple. Well it should be.

►You little spies. . . ♦ Little brothers are annoying! Honest to God. As I was chatting to a friend online, one of my little brothers comes over (in my school library) and watches me for some time without me knowing ...I mean thankgod he wasn't reading anything and only saw that I wasn't doing work, but thats not any excuse. I swear, I never do anything major to him like that! EVER! I mean sure we make eachothers lives living hell almost every day when we feel like it, but thats inexcusable! Honest. And trust me thats not the only thing hes done today either. I was going to hang out with a few friends and he followed me (of course without me knowing!) Talk about a total jerk! (of course I know hes doing it out of protection and wariness or wateve but come on!)

►Crushcrushcrush. . . ♦ I'm weak and pathetic. I should have the guts to be myself and go with my guts, instead of trying to cover up what I really wanna do. No one should have to tell me that I'm not being myself! I know who I am (most of the time), and if not I know who I want to be, and today I wasn't even being myself, and going with my gut feeling.

►I guess I'm dreaming again. . .♦ I am. I tend to do that a lot. I dream. I think that people will change. Grown ups never change their minds, you have to wring ur own neck, and contort ur own body just to meet halfway with them. And this is ridiculous its partly my life. I mean I know that they can't just let me do whateve I wanna but, at least give me some layaway. You can't listen to someone then flat out say 'Nope'. I guess I'm dreaming again. . .and again. Funny how you leave and come back into their care and they remain the same. . .in every way possible. Still even managing to kill all of ur hope of being a better person to them. . .

►Yea I gotta lot to say to you. . .♦ But I can't. I'm too scared, or what you'll think, too afraid of what you'll do.

►Makes no since at all. . .♦ For me to even say something thats not going to make a situation better or even worse than it already is . . isn't it best not to say anything in situations like that? I mean if I say how I really feel, its going to change in a second anyways, and if I hold it in it'll be like one of those inside fire things. . .it'll die down after I get the right type of emotion to wet it out.
I think . . . . . . . . . . .

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Paramore Lyrics of my life

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