All M!a

Orphaned

I'm reading this really nice book called, 'The Scroll of Seduction'. Its a translation for a hispanic writer, I love it . . . but it really had me thinking. The girl in the story lost her mother and father(I haven't found out why/how) and she was really sad about the whole thing (duh). But really . . .if that ever happened to me would I feel the same? I mean deep down inside. I couldn't help but question that while I was on the bus reading my story after leaving the library. How would most people feel? How come I don't have that connection? I feel like somehow me and my parents not getting along that great is because I'm always so negitive and closed off from them (purposfully), but is it really my fault? I mean how do you raise a child not to like you? (deep down inside) How do you live with a child who has always regretted coming into ur life? hmm? I wish I knew. . not! I am going to do my very best to raise my children to love everyone, most especially me and my husband. Lifes too short for us to grow up with children who aren't going to give a rats ass about you . . .deep down inside.

~I should take my own advice. . but lifes complicated.